I Hate and I Love

String Quartet • 2022 • 8 minutes 30
Chamber Music String Quartet

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About the Work

"I Hate and I Love" takes its title from the famous two-line poem by the Roman poet Catullus (Carmen 85): "Odi et amo" - translation below.

The piece explores my personal experience of struggling as a student composer, with loving music but finding the process of creation very difficult.

To compose the piece, I stripped out everything except harmony so I could focus on writing expressively without being encumbered by techniques. On reflection, I feel that the use of consistent held chords is inspired very much by the music of Arvo Pärt which has been a tremendous influence on me as a composer and singer.

Technical Details

Instrumentation

2 Violins, Viola, Cello
(Standard String Quartet)

Duration

8 minutes 30 seconds

Inspiration: Catullus, Carmen 85

Latin Original

Odi et amo. Quare id faciam fortasse requiris.
Nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior.

English Translation

I hate and I love. And if you ask me how,
I do not know: I only feel it, and I'm torn in two.

Performance Notes

Vibrato should be kept to a minimum and saved for moments of emotional climax.

Score

Please find the score below. If you are interested in performing this piece, please get in touch.

⬇ I Hate and I Love Score (PDF)

Credits

Composer

Cloe Savannah Hotham

Inspiration

Catullus, Carmen 85 (1st century BCE)

Translation

Translated by Peter Whigham (1966). Published by Penguin Books (2015).

Recording

Recorded in workshop by the Ligeti Quartet at the Guildhall School of Music & Drama, London